There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
