I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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