I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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