Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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