So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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