I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
