is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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