Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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