Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
