I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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