it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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