did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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