I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
