I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
