The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
