In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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