Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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