he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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