Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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