Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
