I want to stick my p in your. b.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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