My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
