Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
