I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize