This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
