I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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