i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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