If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
