What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
