So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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