it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
