My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
