i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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