Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
