four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
