Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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