wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
