Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
