I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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