omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Actions speak louder than pants.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
