What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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