dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
