she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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