Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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