I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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