Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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