Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
