I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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