Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
