I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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