What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
