It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
