Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
