And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize